A Forced Issue
by Ticklesivory
Summary: Obidala. As guests of a popular Coruscant News show, ObiWan and Padme come face to face with the notorious Galactic Gayle. A rather different type of fic for me. Short...script style. And no plot in sight!
1. Chapter 1

**A Forced Issue**

**By Ticklesivory **

**Warnings: **Serious ridiculousness ahead.

* * *

**Characters:**

The GCHN Announcer

Your host, "Galactic" Gayle

Jedi Knight Obi-Wan Kenobi

Senator Padmé Amidala

Michael, the holovid tech

Plus a few anonymous, and not-so-anonymous callers

* * *

**Announcer: **_It's time for The Galactic City Report via the GCHN, broadcast throughout Coruscant and surrounding systems. Brought to you this evening by Galaxy Express: Don't leave your system without it. _

_And now here's your host, "Galactic" Gayle Riordan._

**Gayle: **Good evening Coruscant! How about those space lanes tonight? Phew! Remember to fly friendly, everyone. And if you're joining us on the HoloNet, we are live this evening and pleased to announce our very special guests, Senator Padmé Amidala and her Jedi Protector, Knight Obi-One Kenobi.

**Obi-Wan: **That's Wan.

**Gayle: **Pardon?

**Obi-Wan: **Wan -- not One like the number. Wan – with a short a.

**Gayle: **Allrighty then. Let's get to it. I'm so pleased that you accepted our invitation to join us this evening on Coruscant's most popular GCH network news, and I know there are important issues that we need to discuss…

**Padmé: **Thank you Miss Riordan. Yes, I am currently on a committee that is designed to…

**Gayle: **But before we get to that, there are a few questions I'd like to ask.

**Padmé: **Uh….okay?

**Gayle: **We all know that an attempt was made on the senator's life which explains your presence, Knight Kenobi. But we at the station were wondering. Just how much time do you two spend together? Say, in a day?

**Padmé: **Excuse me?

**Gayle**: Your assignment Mr. Kenobi.

**Obi-Wan: **Knight Kenobi.

**Gayle: **Sorry. Your assignment, Knight Kenobi – does it cover 24/5 or do you work in shifts?

**Obi-Wan: **I'm at the senator's disposal at all hours, protecting her during the day and night.

**Gayle: **Interesting. So, you never sleep?

**Obi-Wan: **Of course I do. I have a padawan who relieves me during several hours a night.

**Gayle: **Ah, yes. Young Anakin Skywalker. We'll come back to him later. So tell me, Obi-Wan. How does this beautiful young senator spend her time? Surely not hiding out in her apartment.

**Padmé: **I really don't think that's any of your business!

**Obi-Wan: **Revealing Pad…Senator Amidala's choice of recreation would be detrimental to her security and a violation of the trust that she has put…

**Gayle: **So she trusts you?

**Padmé: **Of course I do.

**Gayle: **Enough to take risks such….as….taking her to one of Coruscant's hottest night spots?

**Obi-Wan: **I don't know what you're talking about.

**Gayle: **_Michael? Roll the Indiscretions footage for our HoloNet viewers_. Now this night, as you can see, the club was quite crowded, but our holovid operator was able to locate you Knight Kenobi – quite easily in fact. Perhaps you should have considered leaving the lightsaber back at the Temple.

**Obi-Wan: **Not possible.

**Gayle: **And here – _freeze footage Michael. _Here Senator, I believe that's you. Decent disguise, but the boots gave you away. Exquisite by the way. Are they Nabooan?

**Padmé: **Yes…uhm….thank you.

**Gayle: **_Proceed Michael. _Look closely. Now…these are some hidden vid shots from inside the club. Little shaky footage, but there you two are – dancing up a meteor shower. _Stop vid please. _Knight Kenobi, do you think that this type of behavior is appropriate? I mean, considering the fact that the Senator's life is in danger?

**Obi-Wan: **I don't think that's any of your concern, Ms. Riordan.

**Gayle: **Oh, but that's where you're wrong. You see, the welfare of this young woman is the concern of us all. She is a public servant you see.

**Padmé: **And of legal age by seven years! And I'll have you know that I resent my life being put under this type of media microscope!

**Gayle: **Oh, just wait. It gets much better. _Roll again, Michael! _Here you two are walking back Miss Amidala's apartment. _The zoom vid please. _Why Senator, I do believe you're blushing here!

**Padmé: **It was a very warm evening.

**Gayle: **I believe the temperature was regulated to mild that night. But what's this? No good night kiss? Why Jedi Kenobi, that's disappointing.

**Obi-Wan: **Padmé, we don't have to sit here and listen to this.

**Gayle: **First names, I see. And I also see we have our first caller of the night.

**Caller #1: **Hello?

**Gayle: **Good evening! You are live on the Galactic City Report. Go ahead.

**Caller #1: **Hi. Yeah, I was at Indiscretions that night. I remember seeing them together. I thought it was odd because you don't usually see Jedi in Coruscant at night, especially dancing at a club.

**Gayle: **And what was your impression caller?

**Caller #1: **That they were having a good time. It was rather nice to see. Jedi are usually so….serious. They looked happy – like they had been friends for a long time, ya' know? Just dancing and laughing. Kinda like they were a couple.

**Gayle: **A couple you say? Hmm. A couple. Is that what you two are?

**Padmé and Obi-Wan: **No!

**Padmé: **No…not really. Obi-Wan and I are acquaintances. Just friends -- that's all.

**Gayle**: Friends….How very interesting….

TBC...


	2. Chapter 2

**Gayle: **Early reports claimed Senator, that you were actually involved with Jedi Kenobi's apprentice, Anakin. But I'm happy to reveal that those reports were erroneous.

**Obi-Wan**: Wait a minute! I thought we were here to cover the senator's support of the…

**Gayle: **Jedi Kenobi, surely you of all people can understand meeting the public's needs. You are a servant yourself -- guarding and protecting the galaxy. An honorable profession, I admit, but not unlike my own. I give my listeners and viewers what they need.

**Padmé: **So….my personal life is what Coruscant needs to hear about?

**Gayle: **Why wouldn't they? You two are a charming couple, I must say.

**Obi-Wan: **We already told you we aren't a couple.

**Gayle: **Well, that's too bad. A recent poll indicates that the public prefers the Senator to be with you, Knight Kenobi -- instead of your apprentice.

**Padmé: **You took a poll?

**Gayle: **Why yes. And Knight Kenobi was the preference, three to one.

**Obi-Wan: **This is ridiculous.

**Padmé: **These rumors about me and Anakin. What were they about?

**Obi-Wan: **Padmé! Don't encourage her!

**Padmé: **I'm just curious.

**Gayle: **That the boy was infatuated with you ever since you met him during that awful Trade Federation occupation of your home planet. That he became obsessed with you and mooned over you for years. Not a healthy distraction for a child, I must say.

**Padmé: **I pretty much thought the same thing. I mean, he was nine years old when we met and ten years later, he tells me he's thought about me every day? Pretty scary stuff.

**Obi-Wan: **Padmé!

**Gayle: **Well, you don't have to worry your pretty head about him any more, honey.

**Padmé: **Why? What do you know?

**Gayle: **_Michael! Roll Axis footage. _Look at the lower left corner of the monitor. I believe that's your padawan, Knight Kenobi. Quite the lovely boy. We couldn't get any inside shots -- too much security and the strobes play havoc with the cameras. But he was observed by our vid operator, who can testify to the fact that the young man had a very…very good time.

**Obi-Wan: **What's wrong with that? It's not against the Jedi Code to pursue recreational activities, although…. I don't recall him telling me about this particular establishment. What's the name?

**Gayle: **Axis.

**Obi-Wan: **I don't recognize it.

**Gayle: **Probably not. Not your style of night spot, Knight Kenobi.

**Obi-Wan: **Why not?

**Gayle: **It's a homoerotic club.

**Padmé: **Anakin….is gay?

**Obi-Wan: **That's not possible!

**Gayle: **Do you need to see more footage? He didn't leave the club alone that night.

**Obi-Wan: **No! No…that's all right.

**Gayle: **We have our second caller. You are live on The Galactic City Report. Go ahead.

**Caller #2: **Yes…I'll have you know that I've been with Padawan Skywalker in an intimate sort of way, and I find him to be the most virile and masculine of men.

**Gayle: **May I inquire after your gender and species, caller? I'm afraid the connection is distorting your voice.

**Caller #2: **I'm a female…..uhm….a Twi-Lek female.

**Gayle**: I hope you get over your cold soon. How and when did you meet Anakin Skywalker?

**Caller #2: **We met…uhm….during…uhm…. the uhm…._poodoo!_

**Obi-Wan: **Padawan?

**Caller #2: ……………………**Yes Master?

**Obi-Wan: **Hang up. Right now.

**Caller #2: **Yes Master.

TBC…


	3. Chapter 3

**Gayle: **We're going to take a break and hear from one of our sponsors. Don't go anywhere. When we come back, we're going to have a special guest join us via holocom. See you in 60.

I'm going to go warm up my chav. Can I get you two anything?

**Padmé: **Why thank you. I wouldn't mind a…

**Obi-Wan**: **No. **

**Padmé: **Uhm…no. No thank you.

**Obi-Wan: **_Why are you being so cooperative? You do realize she brought you here under false pretenses, don't you? _

**Padmé**: _Oh relax, Obi-Wan! No harm's been done! _

**Obi-Wan: **No harm! _No harm? She outed my padawan! He must be humiliated! _

**Padmé: **_It'll be good for him. Anakin needs to embrace who he really is and figure out what he really wants._

**Obi-Wan: **_Before tonight, all he wanted was to become a Jedi! Now…now, I don't what's going to happen! You're simplifying it, Padmé. Surely that's not the advice you'd give him. _

**Padmé: **_That's the advice I'd give anyone. _

**Obi-Wan: **_Including yourself? _

**Padmé: **_Of course. I know exactly what I want. _

**Obi-Wan: **_………And what would that be? _

**Michael: **We're back in 5…4…3…2……..

**Gayle: **Welcome back. We are live in the GCHN studios with Senator Padmé Amidala and Jedi Knight Obi-Wan Kenobi.

Let us return to our previous discussion.

**Obi-Wan: **I've got an idea. How about we discuss Padmé's political endeavors…which is why we came here in the first place.

**Gayle: **I would just love to Knight Kenobi, but we're on a bit of a tight schedule here, and the man who's on the comm is much too important to be kept waiting on hold.

Go ahead Chancellor. You're on.

**Palpatine: **Good evening Ms. Riordan.

**Obi-Wan: **Chancellor Palpatine?!

**Gayle: **Thank you so much for taking time out of your busy schedule to speak with us.

**Palpatine: **It's my pleasure Gayle. I'm actually a huge fan of yours. I never miss a show.

**Gayle: **Why, I'm flattered! But let's not waste any more of your time and allow me to get to the point. How long have you known Padmé Amidala?

**Palpatine: **Since she was a young girl, even before her election as the Queen of Naboo.

**Gayle: **And how would you describe her demeanor – her personality during that time?

**Palpatine: **Stoic. Studious. Even as a child she was too serious. As an adolescent she became involved in every single political issue of the slightest significance. After her election, she became even more involved, as was expected.

**Gayle: **If I understand correctly, Miss Amidala approached her position quite professionally.

**Palpatine: **Very much so. She led Naboo with a firm but fair rule. Her people adored her.

**Gayle: **Which was why they petitioned for her to stay another term, isn't that right?

**Palpatine: **That's correct.

**Gayle: **Tell me, Chancellor. How have her mannerisms and her personality changed now that she has become a senator? Assuming that you have witnessed any recent interactions between herself and her trustworthy Jedi protector.

**Palpatine: **As a matter of fact, I have. The situation has required Kenobi's constant attendance. I have seen them together on several occasions.

**Gayle: **And how did the senator appear?

**Palpatine: **Much more relaxed. Happy. She even told me a joke the other day about a Correllian pirate who walks into a bar. ……

Excuse me. ………………

My assistant has informed me that this particular joke may not be suitable for your audience. Sorry.

**Gayle: **That's quite all right. Some other time maybe. Chancellor, when did you notice this change to occur?

**Palpatine: **Right after I assigned Knight Kenobi to her security team.

**Gayle**: So…you believe the senator's current state of mind is in direct relation to Knight Kenobi's presence?

**Obi-Wan: **_For Force-sake!_

**Palpatine: **I have no doubt about it.

**Gayle: **Thank you so much Chancellor for joining us this evening and sharing your most delightful insights.

**Palpatine: **It has been my pleasure, Ms. Riordan.


	4. Chapter 4

**Gayle: **Great show! Don't you think this is turning into a great show Mike?

**Michael: **Stellar, Gayle.

**Gayle: **We need to take a short break for galactic station identification. When we come back, we'll be taking a few more calls, so stay tuned. See you in 30.

The freshers are down the hall to your left. You sure you don't need anything?

**Padmé: **No thank you, Ms. Riordan.

**Obi-Wan**: … … … … 

**Padmé: **_What's the matter? _

**Obi-Wan: **_I just realized something. You set this whole thing up. _

**Padmé: **_That's nonsense. Why would I do that?_

**Obi-Wan: **_You tell me Padmé! Even with the Force's guidance, I'm lost. _

**Padmé: **_I swear to you I had nothing to do with this! _

**Obi-Wan: **_Then explain to me why the Chancellor of all people would call and say what he did? _

**Padmé: **_Perhaps he's having a mid-life crisis or something. I don't know! But I didn't put him up to it! _

**Obi-Wan: **_Well, it doesn't make any sense. Someone's responsible for this and I'm going to figure it out and when I do…_

**Padmé: **_I honestly don't see what the problem is. _

**Obi-Wan: **_??? Padmé! Gayle Riordan and whoever else is behind this is trying to coerce us into getting together! Romantically! _

**Padmé: **_I still don't see what the problem is. _

**Obi-Wan: **_What?…………Do you mean to tell me, you condone this course of action? _

**Padmé: **_Whatever it takes, Obi-Wan._

**Obi-Wan: **??? … … … …

**Gayle: **Why Knight Kenobi, you don't look well. May I get you a glass of water?

**Obi-Wan: **Uh..no. No thank you.

**Michael: **We are live in 5…4…3…2…..

**Gayle: **This is the Galactic City Report. The lines are now open. If you have any comments, we can take two to three more calls.

**Michael: **Comm 3 Gayle.

**Gayle: **Thanks Mike. Go ahead caller.

**Caller #2: **On, am I?

**Gayle: **Yes, go ahead…

**Caller #2: **Whole planet can hear me, it can?

**Obi-Wan: **_…well i'll be a sonofasith!…_

**Gayle: **Yes, and a few nearby systems as well. Did you have something to say?

**Caller #2: **Yes…yes. Work closely with Knight Kenobi I do. Known him a long time, I have.

**Gayle: **In what capacity have you worked with him?

**Caller #2: **To say, not at liberty am I. However, know him well, I do. His Master too. Deceased, Obi-Wan's Master is.

**Gayle: **Yes, I heard about that. It was a great loss to the Jedi and the galaxy.

**Caller #2: **Great loss to Obi-Wan, it was. Grief nearly consumed him, it did. But duty and responsibility pressed upon him, it was. Difficult it is, to train a padawan.

**Obi-Wan: **Master…please!

**Caller #2: **Quiet you will be until finished I am!

**Gayle: **Please continue.

**Caller #2: **Watch him struggle for years under the weight of duty, I have. Successful he has been, but too stern and serious he has become. Young man he still is! When nearly 800 years he reaches, only then, an old fart should he be!

**Gayle: **So what is your recommendation?

**Caller #2: **Relax. Enjoy life and the company of beautiful women, he should.

**Gayle: **Like….say…the company of one Padmé Amidala?

**Caller #2: **Sometimes, galaxy not seen for all the stars.

**Gayle: **What you're saying is, what he really needs is right in front of his face.

**Caller #2: **Wise, you are. See much, you do. Perhaps, tested by the council you should have been.

**Gayle: **I'll take that as a compliment.

**Caller #2: **As you should. Obi-Wan, however, stubborn he is. Learned from the best, did he. Perhaps an eye-opener this will be. Hmmm. May the Force be with you, Gayle Riordan.

**Gayle: **And the same to you…uhm…

**Obi-Wan: **_…master yoda…_

**Gayle: **The same to you, Master Yoda.


	5. Chapter 5

**Gayle: **We have time for one more call, Michael?

**Michael: **Sure. Com 2.

**Gayle: **Welcome to the Galactic City Report. You are on the air.

**Caller #3: **Hi. Yeah, I actually called before.

**Obi-Wan: **Anakin, I thought I told you to hang up.

**Padmé**: Obi-Wan, let him speak!

**Obi-Wan**: ……Very well. Proceed padawan….but with caution.

**Caller #3**: There are a few things I need to say. I'll be brief.

**Obi-Wan**: Good idea.

**Padmé**: Obi-Wan! Hush!

**Obi-Wan: … … … … …**

**Caller #3:** I admit I was quite a pain in the ass as a …. Sorry.

**Gayle:** That's okay. Censors will take care of it.

**Caller #3:** Anyway, I was quite the brat growing up and I admit I was a little obsessed with Padmé. My Jedi therapist says I was suffering from a post-traumatic separation anxiety disorder manifested as a psychological transfer of maternal attachment…something or another. What I'm trying to say is – Master? I know you have feelings for Padmé and I know you've been hiding them because of me. I wanted you to know that it's okay. My interests actually lie elsewhere _– as everyone in the entire galaxy knows by now thanks to this show. _

**Gayle**: Don't mention it.

**Obi-Wan**: Padawan, I never said I had feelings for Padmé!

**Caller #3:** Oh, come on Master! You light up like a deseraanian night fly whenever she's around! During the last few tens when you've been with her, I've never seen you so happy!

**Obi-Wan**: That could be for a number of reasons.

**Caller #3: **… …You murmur her name in your sleep.

**Obi-Wan:** Anakin!

**Padmé:** You do?

**Caller #3**: I'm only telling the truth like you always say I should.

**Obi-Wan:** Under different circumstances would've been my preference.

**Gayle:** On this show, we have no secrets.

**Obi-Wan:** _Obviously._

**Caller #3:** Give it up, Master. Do yourself a favor and turn to Padmé right now and ask her out. I think you'll be surprised at her answer.

**Obi-Wan:** Believe me, padawan. At this point, NOTHING will surprise me!

**Caller #3**: See you later, Master.

**Gayle**: That's it for today's show. Thank you for joining us. Be sure to tune in tomorrow night for the winner of The Sexiest Jedi poll. Galactic City voted and Aayla Secura will be live in our studios. You won't want to miss it.

Have a pleasant evening Coruscant! And until next time, this is Galactic Gayle, signing off.

**Padmé:** Thank you for having us Ms. Riordan. It was rather…enlightening.

**Gayle**: Don't mention it, dear. I hope everything works out for you. It was nice meeting you both. I've got to wrap up a few things in the office. Do you need an escort out?

**Padmé:** No, that's okay. We know the way. Good night.

**Obi-Wan:** … … … … 

**Padmé**: Obi-Wan, are you ready to go?

**Obi-Wan:** … … I suppose so.

**Padmé:** I'll contact Ric and have him meet us to take me home.

**Obi-Wan:** Wait.

**Padme: **?

**Obi-Wan**: Instead of going back to your apartment…could you… I mean, would you care to go out? Maybe see a holovid or get something to eat?

**Padmé**: … … I don't know.

**Obi-Wan: **Oh.. Well, forget it. Let's just get you back home.

**Padmé**: Obi-Wan. … I'd be happy to go out with you, but it all depends upon your motivation.

**Obi-Wan:** My motivation?

**Padmé:** Yes. Are you asking me to be with you professionally? Or romantically?

**Obi-Wan:** Oh…Uh….romantically, actually.

**Padmé**: Then I'd love to.


	6. Chapter 6

Closing Scene 

**Michael**: Gayle, you've got a personal call on comm one. I'm outta here. Good night.

**Gayle:** Thanks. You too, Mike. See you tomorrow.

This is Gayle.

**Caller #4**: How did it go?

**Gayle:** Better than we expected.

**Caller #4:** He asked her out then?

**Gayle:** As a matter of fact, he did. And let me say that the call from Master Yoda was a stroke of genius.

**Caller #4:** That was all him! I had nothing to do with it!

**Gayle:** You know, if I told anyone that you were a hopeless romantic at heart, they wouldn't believe me.

**Caller #4**: Then I guess it will have to remain our little secret.

**Gayle**: I'm afraid that my secrecy comes at a price.

**Caller #4:** I figured as much. Your place tonight?

**Gayle**: I'll meet you there in an hour. And Mace? This time, don't forget the whipped cream.

_End Transmission_

* * *

A/N: Yee-Haw! That was fun! I think I need to stay angst-free for a while. In fact, the next fic I'm working on is a Dormé/Sola/Obidala comedy actually inspired by a recent news story. I'll try and post the first chapter of it tomorrow.

Thanks for the R&Rs! See you next time! (And don't forget the whipped cream!)


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